Choose Your Love - Love Your Choice

Today is my 6 year wedding anniversary. S - I - X. For reals? 6. What the crazy. I mean, I can't remember my life before him, but to say the word "SIX" sounds like a LOT. I remember when we first got married, a coworker told me she had been married for 5 years, and I thought, "WOW! You're old! That's such a long time." Now. That's me plus one more. Six years.

6 years is a lot to put into one blog post. In fact, I can't even do it. It would start with a story about a Tuesday night where I was wearing my "I traded my boyfriend for a sparkler" shirt and this cute american history major told me I could touch his KG's {those are basketball shoes, p.s.}, and somewhere in the middle would be a halloween at village inn ... lots of travels ... a little yellow house ... some crazy years of unemployment ... a whole lot of love ... and a little beautiful baby bundle. But, like I said, 6 years is a lot to sum up in a few paragraphs. What I do want to write about, though, is how amazing and trying and funny and crazy and hard and wonderful and perfect marriage is. 

free printable from Crafty Wife

{I love inspirational PINs, so you'll find lots of those helping me out!}

"Choose your love - love your choice." One of my most favorite quotes about marriage. Life is just a bunch of choices. Choose to be happy, choose to be sad, choose to be angry, choose to be patient, choose to laugh, choose to cry, choose that chick-fil-a meal with a giant dr pepper over the salad. Choosing the person you marry is kind of the biggest decision you'll ever make. The first step is easy. I chose my husband. There was never a doubt. I always knew. It's that second step that can be hard - love your choice. There will come a time in your marriage when you may not be very good at loving your choice. Something we fall into? Comparison. So-and-so's husband is #besthusbandever or so-and-so's wife lets her husband do this or that ... blah! It's awful. In today's social media world, we are constantly bombarded with how amazing everyone is. We all brog {blog + brag} at some point or another - and we all compare - and we all want that Pinterest home and life and love. Love your choice. You and your spouse are so great for each other. Don't put your time, thought and energy into thinking about anyone else's marriage or life. Comparison is the thief of joy. Put that effort into your own marriage! I promise you - if you make a mental decision to see the best in your spouse and to love them, you WILL DO IT. I've done it. It works. Is it always easy? Most of the time - YES! But in those hard times - remember - you chose your love - now love your choice! 

The Love Languages they didn't tell you about. You may have heard about these little things called The 5 Love Languages. Don't get me wrong - I think this is a great book. I know lots of marriages that have been completely improved by learning love languages and doing them. BUT. I think there are some no-no's that come with the love languages. {This is all just my opinion, remember!} It is super good to know if your spouse loves little gifts ... or needs to have her hand held {*yep! me!*} ... or feels loved when you listen to them unload their day's stresses ... etc. It is important to know how your spouse feels loved and to try to do more of that. BUT. Remember to see the ways your spouse shows they love you beyond the 5 and learn to accept that all your "needs" will not be constantly met. Instead of making the checklist of A-Z things YOU need and giving that to your spouse to check off every day - start by making a list of A-Z things your spouse already does to show they love you. You may surprise yourself at how long it is! I used to be awful at this. I probably still am. I used to give my husband a hard time for a lot of things {I thought} he WASN'T doing. It took me a long time to learn to acknowledge the things he WAS doing. That list was definitely longer. Love and support your spouse's strengths - don't just focus on the weaknesses. Because sometimes we forget the qualities that are the most important.

Communicate. I can be completely AWFUL at communicating. When I get upset, I shut off from the world. Put up walls. Go into my own head. And leave everyone out - including my husband. I have become a firm believer in talking and opening up. It's another thing that took me a long time to learn (and I'm still working on it). You can talk about ANYTHING with your spouse - as long as you do it in the right way. Don't yell it. Don't sarcasm it. Don't be condescending. Don't bring up past/present problems during a fight. Do it in the right way. Talk in a NICE way. It does wonders. A soft answer turneth away wrath. This, again, is just my personal feelings, but I tell my husband that if he comes to me in a nice manner - he can say anything. And I will listen. And vice versa. We try really hard to communicate nicely. And I've come to find that it actually works! It's kind of like that book that went around a few years ago: The Secret. It basically said that what you put out there in the world is what you'll get in return, so if you think positively and put out positive vibes, you'll get that back. Karma. The Golden Rule. It's all pretty darn true. Communication is SO key. A fight can be solved fast when talked about, in the right way. So often it's just a simple misunderstanding! {sometimes it's just cause you're hungry, though, and for that, the only solution is Taco Bell}

You're on the same team. A fave line of a fave song goes, "We should get jerseys, cause we make a good team." Remember how I said before that I shut out everyone when I'm upset? My husband sometimes has to remind me, "I'm on your team." As husband and wife, you're on the same team. You are working toward the same goals. One of my most favorite quotes is by Bruce R. McConkie {a previous apostle of the LDS Church}. I listened to a great talk from someone about this image of the triangle. Imagine a dot on both the husband and wife point of the triangle. As you and your husband move towards God - you move closer to each other. I think of this image a lot and it helps me keep the big picture in mind. Remember that your spouse is here to help you and root for you - you're on the same team. Be quick to forgive, try not to get offended easily, and CHOOSE happy.

Support your spouse in becoming {more} awesome. There was an amazing talk during the last General Conference of the LDS Church {yes, I quote church talks a lot, because they inspire me!}, by Elder Uchtdorf called You Can Do It Now! {click HERE to read it}. It is just about becoming the best version of yourself - you can do it! I heard it and it gave me this excitement in supporting my husband in helping him become the best he can be. I sort of saw our marriage in a new light. I learned to see him as he can become. And that's how I want people to see me. It was a really cool moment that I'll never forget. Just support your spouse and help them. I often have to remind myself that no one is perfect. I have my own checklist to work on. If you learn to see each other as you can become, you'll just love more. Can't explain it. It just happens. And it's kind of exciting. 

Get out of your head. Sometimes, our minds can be our worst enemies. If you're a person that does this, you know what I mean. If you're not, go kick back a Dr Pepper and skip this part. Get out of your head. If ever I was feeling down, my dad used to say to me, Forget yourself and go to work. Lose yourself in service - it works!

My last thing to say comes from one of those articles that went around Facebook a couple weeks ago. I don't normally stop to read them, but this one caught my eye. A guy traveled around interviewing all types of couples about marriage. He quoted a woman that had been married for over 60 years, and what she said is seriously amazing. Don't be afraid to be the one who loves the most. So that's what I leave you with. Don't be afraid.

read the article HERE

There are so many things married couples can say about marriage. Just a million things. I love reading about marriage! My friend Pamela wrote a cute article on dating during marriage, which she guest posted on my blog! It's so good - check it out HERE. I love her advice on just being together. I found another great article called How do you look at your spouse? on Joyful Family Life. Check it out HERE. Do you have a favorite article on marriage? I'd love to read it! Link it up in the comments.

Guys. Marriage is hard sometimes. Take two people, from two different lives, and put them together in a house and say "go be awesome together." It isn't always perfect, but there are perfect moments, and the good always major outweighs the bad. There are just times you share and moments you have that can't come through any other type of companionship. It's the craziest thing to choose one person that you want to spend every moment of every day with. I could spend a week with any other person, and after a few days, you know how it is, you're kind of like, "Ok ... I think I'm ready for my space here." But not with marriage. My husband and I, still, do everything together. And I can't explain how or why, but I just want to spend every second with him. It is so super cheesy, but it's really like all of me isn't complete until we are together. 

Marriage has given me the most joy of anything I've ever chosen to do. I'm so grateful I get to spend the rest of eternity kickin' it with this guy. Thanks for sharing my anniversary week with me! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. It was fun! See you in 6 more years. ;)

xo

Have you linked up at Link'n Blogs yet? Come join my link party! This way >> Link'n Blogs

Enter the fab giveaways I'm currently hosting!

Target $160 Gift Card Giveaway

Wren and Rumor - Baby Swaddle Blanket & Burp Cloth Giveaway