The Essential and Eternal Role of Motherhood ... Mother's Day 2014

Tomorrow is Mother's Day, and I can't help but reflect on what that means to me, at this point in my life. 17 months ago, today, my sweet Ava Noelle was born. While looking back now, it was the greatest day of my entire life, but the days leading up to it were full of many emotions and uncertainty. We waited almost 5 years to become parents - and there were reasons for that. We needed time to grow as a married couple and to learn about ourselves. We were never fully prepared for being parents, but is anyone, really?

I was super scared to have a baby. The process of labor, yes, but scared to bring another human into our life. I'd finally felt like we'd figured out  started to maybe get the hang of marriage. And I was scared to change that. I'd seen it happen to other couples over and over. You have a baby and your marriage changes. Your husband is no longer your #1 priority - it's your kids. Your husband no longer gets attention - it's your kids. Your husband no longer feels "close" to you - it's your kids. I was scared of putting a wedge between my husband and me - yep - a baby wedge. I was so happy to become a mom - I've always only ever wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. Even in college and working - it all felt like it was just me getting through the time until I became a mom. But when it was suddenly happening - I was scared about change.

One best friend told me that doesn't have to happen - that your love only grows. It's impossible to understand that idea until you are going through it. I couldn't understand how adding more responsibility, stress and someone else to our life would only bring us closer and make us love each other more. Don't get me wrong - I was super happy to be pregnant - enjoyed every moment of it - had a super easy pregnancy and delivery {think 4 hours from hospital check in and 3 pushes later}. We were super excited and happy - I was just scared about the unknown and didn't want my marriage to change.

I was super right.